


pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare

by lucasashtons



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Make Up, based off of the poem in 10 things i hate about you, kind of a list story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 21:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3704765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasashtons/pseuds/lucasashtons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the end, there's a lot of things Luke hates about Ashton. Mostly, he hates how he doesn't really hate him.</p><p>Not even a little bit.</p><p>Not even at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pardon the way that I stare, there's nothing else to compare

**Author's Note:**

> I found this little [ gifset](http://lucasashtons.tumblr.com/post/115820647984/10-things-i-hate-about-you) on tumblr on for the past two hours wrote a quick fic about it. (This is un-edited, all mistakes are mine)
> 
> Events are not exactly in chronological order :)
> 
> Enjoy!

_I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair_

Before they had started dating, Luke had always been found of the beautiful mess of hair that sat on top of Ashton Irwin’s head. There were days where that beautiful mess was wavy and parted to the left side of his face, other times where he let the curls fall wherever and made Luke’s heart thump wildly just at the sight. He was absolutely the most beautiful person Luke had ever laid his eyes upon.

So when he approached Luke at lunch one day, Luke couldn’t even find the words to say anything. It was strange to begin with, that the school’s most mysterious and beautiful boy would approach someone as shy and quiet as Luke Hemmings. Ashton rarely talked to anyone outside of his own group and that was that.

There was way he spoke to him, a way that Luke found himself falling in love with as each word spilled from the boy’s mouth. Usually Ashton spoke with a certain tone of voice, one that threatened everyone or show cased his overall sarcastic personality. When Ashton spoke to Luke, it wasn’t anything like that.

“Hey,” he welcomed, his voice soft and soothing, almost like he was comforting someone. “How would you like to go to a party with me this weekend?”

That honestly should have been the warning sign, the signal that the mundane life of Luke Hemmings was about to become a whirlwind. He should have known that by agreeing to this he was basically agreeing to have Ashton Irwin crush his heart in just about any way possible, considering his reputation around the school.

So when Luke found himself agreeing to Ashton’s invitation, it came as no surprise that in just a few short months all of the confidence surging through him now would be wiped out completely.

_I hate the way you drive my car_

Luke never liked the old Escort his parents gave him after he received his license. The car wasn’t the best by far, even by first car standards. The air conditioning inside of it was broken and tended to whistle when he drove down the freeway, his stereo could only be turned up to a certain volume without the audio cracking, and if you pushed on the breaks, even the slightest, they squealed loudly for everyone to hear.

Despite this problems, Ashton always seemed to insist that they take Luke’s car whenever they went anywhere.

“Why?” Luke asked one time as the piled into the front seats, Ashton agreeing to drive. The car started with a load roar, both boys cringing at the sound. “Your car is so much better, and the sound system sounds a hell lot better than this piece of shit. Why do you always want to take my car whenever we go out?”

Ashton shrugs, fiddling with the radio until it landed on a rock station. “I guess there is something about this car that reminds me of you.” Luke raises an eyebrow, making Ashton continue. “It’s not perfect, not by any means. It’s got a few issues here and there, but it gets you to wherever you need to go.” He turns to Luke, reaching across and cupping Luke’s cheek. “Just like you, it may be a little bit broken in places, but at least it still manages to work.”

Luke laughs softly before surging forward and pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. “That’s sweet, thank you.”

Ashton shrugs. “Eh, just call me a romantic.” He gives Luke another quick grin before placing a hand on the steering wheel and pulling out of Luke’s driveway, tearing down the road and heading towards the movie theater. He drove like that the entire way there: one hand on the steering wheel, his free arm draped across the seats and playing with the small, curly hairs at the nape of Luke’s neck.

It was comforting, Luke had to admit.

_I hate the way you stare_

“I’m trying to do my homework here.”

They are sitting in Luke’s bedroom, textbooks laid across his bed open to various pages. While Luke has been writing well thought out notes in his notebook, Ashton has been mindlessly highlighting various pages in his book. It’s been like this for a few hours now, but now Ashton has seemed to find something more interesting than highlighting.

Whenever Luke looks up to make sure his boyfriend is doing his work, he finds those hazel eyes gazing at him, something in them that makes Luke melt. Ashton doesn’t even bother with looking away when Luke notices him staring, just continues to look before smiling sweetly until Luke turns away.

Luke is so in love it hurts.

“I see that,” Ashton says, taking the pen out of Luke’s hand at setting it away from him. He creeps forward, hands on either side of his boyfriend as Luke leans backwards onto his bed, head falling softly onto his pillow as Ashton crawls on top of him before leaning down and pressing their lips together.

They may not have finished the homework, but Luke certainly wasn’t complaining.

_I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind_

The party was terrible.

Luke had arrived an hour ago, nerves making him jittery and isolating him towards a corner of the room where he could be alone. He hasn’t even spotted Ashton yet, and it’s beginning to make him wonder if Ashton’s invitation had just been a joke. It would make sense, and Luke would be lying if he said he wasn’t used to it.

He’s about to leave when there’s suddenly a pair of large combat boots in his line of vision, making him look up from his hands to see Ashton. He’s smiling, dimples poking out in his tanned cheeks before he’s pulling Luke into a hug.

“I’m glad you could make it!” he says, releasing the boy and not even noticing the pink color dusting Luke’s cheeks. “I hope you haven’t been here too long, I’ve been having a hard time getting away from certain people in order to find you. Seems like everyone at this party wants to talk to me.”

Luke just smiles shortly, still unsure of how to act. This wasn’t his type of scene, he usually stuck with staying home and avoiding social gatherings. If he was being honest he’d rather be sitting at home listening to his Green Day CD on repeat and mess around with his guitar.

He didn’t realize his emotions were showing on the surface until Ashton is pulling him outside, where the night air is slightly cold and no one seems to be around. He can hear the sounds of cicadas chirping away and the faint sounds of cars but other than that it’s complete silence. It’s a nice change.

“I can see you are not a huge fan of parties,” Ashton says, hands in his pockets. “How about we go do something you want to do, maybe go listen to some music in my car or whatever else it is you’d like to do.”

Luke had to admit that those words shock him. The guy in front of him is nothing like the Ashton Irwin the school has made him out to be, not even close. He was expecting a heart breaker, complete jerk that had no intention of wasting a precious minute with someone like Luke.

He thought it was a joke, a huge, humiliating joke.

There’s suddenly a hand coming forward and intertwining with his, and suddenly, he doesn’t really care about what he’s heard. He likes this Ashton, the one that’s willing to ditch this terrible party and spend his night with Luke doing whatever Luke wanted to do.

That was the Ashton he fell in love with.

_I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme_

It was nearing eleven when the waitress came up to Luke, a sympathetic smile on her face as she places a hand on Luke’s shoulder and says, “I don’t think he’s coming sweetie.”

Luke knew that. He figured that out about an hour ago, when Ashton was officially two hours late. For some stupid reason he held on to the thought that Ashton would eventually show up and make some stupid excuse as to why he was late. Luke had been doing that a lot lately, holding out hope that Ashton’s sudden strange behavior had some sort of explanation.

It never did.

He’s pulling up in his driveway when there are headlights behind him, a car that is awfully familiar parked behind him and Luke stops himself from rolling his eyes at how gets out of the driver’s side. He’s not going to talk to him, it doesn’t matter what Ashton says to him.

“Babe!” Ashton calls out when Luke opens the driver’s side door, getting out of his car and slamming the door shut. “Listen I know you probably hate me so much right now but I really do have a good reason-“

“Do you?” Luke spits, his idea of not speaking being thrown out the window. “Do you have a wonderful reason as to why you couldn’t meet me _three fucking hours ago?_ I was sitting at that restaurant, just waiting for you to burst through that door, but you never did.”

“I know, and you have every right to be angry with me,” he steps forward, making Luke take a step back. “Please, let’s just go somewhere we can talk, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“No,” Luke tells him, trying to keep the angry tears from pouring out. “I don’t want to talk. I just want you to walk.” He stomps forward and tries to make himself appear bigger, show Ashton just how angry he is. “Get out of my driveway and go away. There isn’t a single reason as to why you even need to stay.”

Despite how tense the moment is, and how furious Luke appears, Ashton giggles. “Babe, you do realize what you just said rhymed, right?” His nose is scrunching up cutely, and Luke hates how his heart still flutters at the sight of those damn dimples. He’s supposed to be angry, downright furious at this asshole, but now he can’t help but crack a smile.

“I guess I did,” he laughs in return, smile on his face before Ashton is pulling him into a tight hug and for that moment, he forgives him.

_I hate the way you’re always right_

There’s a knock on his door, but Luke can’t bring himself to get himself up out of his bed and open the door. His body refuses to move, his eyes sore from all the crying he had done the night before, and he just wants to sink into the bed and never emerge again.

There’s a sinking body towards the end of his bed, but he still doesn’t move. It’s only when there’s a hand running through his tangled hair that he even moves to see who it is, a small smile on his face when he sees its Ashton.

“You weren’t at school,” Ashton comments, his large hand resting in the blond locks. “Considering you are pretty good at showing up I figured something was wrong. Do you want to talk about it?”

Luke shakes his head, instead adjusting himself to hold his arms out. Ashton just nods slowly before sliding underneath the covers with him, shoes kicked off to the side of the bed and his cold toes pressing against Luke’s warm legs. Luke wraps his arms around his waist and bury his head into Ashton’s chest, his breathing becoming labored as he begins to cry again.

“I don’t think holding it in is good for you,” Ashton mumbles into his hair, pressing sweet kisses into his scalp as his hand trails lightly on Luke’s back in an effort to comfort him. “You need to let it out babe, it will feel better when you let it out.”

Luke sniffles and buries his head further into Ashton’s chest. “Sometimes there isn’t a reason to why I’m sad. I just get into these moods where I’m just miserable and can’t bring myself to get out of bed, and no matter how many times I try to get over it, I can’t.” He sighs, lifting his head up to look at Ashton. “Maybe you’re right, it is better to get things off of my chest.”

Ashton laughs softly at that and kisses Luke’s nose gently. “I’m always right babe.”

Luke can’t help but laugh with him, because sometimes, Ashton really was.

_I hate it when you lie_

He heard the hushed whispers throughout the hallways when he would stop at his locker, the sympathetic looks someone would casually throw him when he walked past. At first he figured they were nothing but something his mind was making up to mess with him, but the more they occurred the more Luke grew suspicious.

One conversation in particular drew his attention away from his reading in class one day, two girls huddled together in front of him at a desk. It was in hushed whispers, but he still caught a portion of the conversation that sparked an interest.

“I can’t believe he would do something like that,” one of the girl’s spoke, shaking her head. “How could you pretend to date someone just for a couple of bucks? That’s such a dick move if you ask me.”

“What can you expect from Ashton Irwin?” the other girl says, making Luke’s heart stop. “That kid comes on as sweet, but as soon as he has you believing he’s a nice guy he turns out to be a nightmare. I just hope that poor Hemmings kid catches on sooner or later.”

A bet.

_A bet._

What hurts the most is Luke _expected_ this to happen. Not a bet, per say, but something to go wrong. He knew it was all too perfect, so unlike what everyone had told him dating Ashton would be like. It explains the looks he’d been receiving in the hallways too, and it hurts. He closes his book roughly, causing the girls to jump and turn to face him, one of them widening their eyes when they see him.

“Oh my gosh,” she begins. “I am so sorry Luke, I didn’t know-“

He doesn’t hear the end of it, he’s already heading out the door and out of the classroom, ignoring his teacher calling out to him that class wasn’t over. He didn’t care, he needed to get out of there. He didn’t know where he was headed, but he couldn’t bring himself to really care. He let his feet carry him wherever they wanted, stopping at the soccer field outside where one of the P.E. classes was playing a scrimmage.

The fates must have been against him then, because Ashton was one of them. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, smile on his face as he stole the ball from one of the players and took off down the field and scoring a goal, making his team cheer.

They lock eyes, Luke’s tear filled blue ones with Ashton’s concerned hazel ones.

“Luke?” Ashton calls out, running over to his boyfriend and reaching forward to cup his face. Luke swats his hands away. “What happened? Is something wrong?”

“I was a fucking bet,” Luke states, fists clenched. “All I was to you was a fucking bet. Was I worth it then? Was I worth whatever this bet was set up for?” he’s furious, and if he’s being honest he’s far too tempted to punch Ashton in the face in front of everyone.

Ashton’s face is one of complete panic. “H-How did you find out about that?”

Luke swears his heart has never hurt more than it has at Ashton’s confirmation. “So it is true? Everything between us was because of a bet?” He shuts his eyes tightly, tears spilling out and he hates it, he hates feeling this _weak._ “I don’t want to talk to you ever again. I want you to stay the hell away from me for the rest of the school year, okay?” He backs away, leaving Ashton standing there on the soccer field.

He takes off, running towards his car and never looks back.

_I hate it when you make me laugh_

It had been their third month of dating when Luke revealed to Ashton that he had never seen any of the Scary Movies.

“That’s blasphemy!” Ashton declares, looking down at Luke from his position in Ashton’s arms. “I can’t believe you haven’t seen one of the best parody series in the history of all of mankind! What on Earth has prevented you from being exposed to the beauty that _is_ Scary Movie?”

“No interest?” Luke admits with a shrug. “I doubt they are even that good Ash, I’ve mostly heard about how dumb they are then how good they are.”

“We are watching them,” Ashton declares, moving Luke away and heading towards his movie collection. “You and I are going to watch the first one together right now, and I guarantee by the end of it you’ll be in tears from laughing so hard.” He slides the disc into the DVD player before heading back towards the couch, remote in hand. He pulls Luke back into his embrace before pressing play, pinching Luke’s side. “Trust me babe, you’ll love it.”

Halfway through the movie and Luke honestly isn’t paying attention. He tried at first to really engross himself in the film, but halfway through the beginning Ashton had begun to quote it word for word in his ear. If he was being honest, he got more of a laugh from his boyfriend giggling in his ear than he did from the entire movie.

_and even worse when you make me cry_

It was hard, driving home when his vision was nothing but tears. He had to furiously wipe his eyes the entire drive home, only at stop lights did he allow himself to really cry. He’d never had his heartbroken before, hoped he’d never feel the pain, but now here it was: it was tearing and clawing at him, and it was just as horrible as he’d imagined it to be.

He didn’t bother greeting his parents when he got home and ran straight up to his room, locking the door and burying himself into the pillows of his bed, sobbing and screaming into them. No one knocked on his door to ask if he was okay, and he’s actually okay with that.

If Luke wanted anything right now, it would be to go back in time and never give Ashton Irwin the opportunity to make him cry.

_I hate it when you’re not around and the fact that you didn’t call_

It’s been a couple of weeks and Luke’s never felt more alone. Usually he be with Ashton, either cuddled together on his couch and laughing at something that happened at school that day or making out in the backseat of his pathetic car.

Now it’s become lying in his bedroom with his iPod resting beside him, playing whatever sad song Luke had put on his playlist. His homework would lie undone on his desk, never being touched. He knows he’s being pathetic and that he should really get over it, stop himself from being such a sad sack, but he can’t do it.

He thinks what hurts the most about the break up is that Ashton’s never even attempted to work things out. He hasn’t called, he hasn’t shown up at Luke’s doorstep with an apology on his tongue. There’s nothing to repair what has been broken, and it makes Luke hurt even more.

All he wants is Ashton to call and explain why, but he doesn’t even get that.

_But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you_

It’s been two months and he’s suddenly graduating. Luke’s surprised he’s lasted so long in high school, especially with the long period of time where he avoided doing most of his school work. He’s not exactly graduating at the top of his class, but he’s still managed to earn a rightful place with some of the honor students, and that’s enough for him.

He’s outside of the school, playing the tassel on his graduation cap when there’s a voice next to him, making him look up and lock eyes with the one person who broke his heart.

“Can you believe it?” Ashton says to him, leaning against the car and staring down at his own cap and tassel, twirling it in his hands. “We graduated, we actually did it. Now we’re adults ready to take on the world and wreck even more havoc on a wider scale.”

Luke hums in response, still refusing to look back up and lock eyes with Ashton. The minute he does that he knows he’s done for and he can’t have that. He can’t let the boy who stomped on his heart get a moment of satisfaction for it. Luke didn’t care if they had just graduated and it’s a celebration, he didn’t want to hear anything Ashton Irwin had to say.

“I’m sorry for never calling,” Ashton begins unexpectedly, but Luke still isn’t looking up. “The bet? It was originally because my friends thought I’d never ask anyone out and have an actual, decent relationship with them. What hurt the most was I actually thought it was going to be easy, pretending to have feelings for you, but then I really did fall in love you.” He sniffs and it’s not until now that Luke realizes Ashton is crying. “I fell in love with you so quickly and so hard that the bet no longer meant anything to me.”

“You know that doesn’t change anything, right?” Luke says, finally locking eyes with Ashton. “I was still a bet to you, our relationship was built entirely on that. You have no idea how hurt I was when I found out that I was just a bet to you. I loved you so much that being around you was one of the only things that kept me _sane.”_

“I know it doesn’t change anything,” Ashton gets up off of the car, hands stuffed into his pockets. “I just wanted you to know that even though it started out as a bet, my feelings for you, everything I said to you, was real. I’m still in love you, very much so, but I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. What I did was horrible, terrible, and I’m going to continue to hate myself for it the rest of my life. I just wanted you to know before you left for university that my feelings were all real.”

Luke nods. “Thank you, but I’m actually not going anywhere. I don’t think I belong in university.” It’s insane, he knows it’s incredibly insane, but he steps forward and presses his lips against Ashton’s. It’s warm and familiar, its home. Ashton’s lips moving against his seems to heal all the wounds he’s helplessly stitched up by himself, and it makes him feel alive again.

“I belong here with you.”

_Not even close_

_Not even a little bit_

_Not even at all_

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr at [ lucasashtons](lucasashtons.tumblr.com)


End file.
